At the beginning of a group meeting this week, a person shared his situation with me…
He stated “I am frustrated and demotivated. My colleague is hopeless, he doesn't listen and doesn't do what needs to be done”.
At the end of the meeting, the same person says: "Well…my main focus for the next six months is that I find my inspiration in my job. And the development I see for myself is to learn to be more diplomatic."
No longer was he pointing to everyone outside of him - his hopeless colleague and how everything was wrong with other people in the team, instead, he looked inside himself and made a commitment to find his own inspiration again and to learn more diplomatic ways of communicating with his colleagues.
I love when people have these transformations. I love it even more when they happen without having to tell anyone what to do. All I did in this meeting was to ask 3 simple questions.
How is it possible to create such shifts for people then?
Here are some reflections.
It is about having insight into some natural laws about how we people interpret and experience our environment and contexts. Another way of saying this is, to have insight into how our mind actually works.
I started this meeting by saying. "Say two words that describe your current situation. Then share with me why you said the two words you did"
This person who stated the words “frustrated and unjustified” then gave a long explanation about how everything was the colleague's fault. He had put on the victims jacket and buttoned the jacket all the way to the neck.
Here is where all transformation begins… having the freedom to share how you see life, just as you see it without being valued or judged. It will feel as it feels to you. When we are stuck and reactive it looks to us that it is the fault of others. All humans experience life the same way. And many of them in the same situation would say, it is not me, it is them!
But to put words on what goes on in the moment and be heard, helps the calm the thoughts down and reactions begin fade away.
Later in the meeting I asked 2 other questions to the group.
"If you only had to choose one thing, what would you like to accomplish at work that would make it feel really good at Midsummer?"
And, if you were to challenge yourself what would your keyword be for the next 6 months.
"Finding my motivation in the work and being more diplomatic was this participant’s answer."
I suggest you take a few minutes right now and reflect on these questions for you. There is a lot of clarity and power to be had when we have simple clear answers to these questions.
• Which two words describe your current situation? Why did you pick those works?
• What do you want to accomplish until midsummer if you could just say one thing?
• How can you challenge yourself so that you go beyond your old patterns to achieve this?
What are your answers? Do they surprise you?
Enjoy the journey…
Wilhelm
PS
You may be wondering. "What are Wilhelm's answers to these questions?"
Well, here they are:
What two words describe my current experience? Why?
Inspired and challenged.
Inspired: I just started on the launch of version 2 of the True Effectiveness programme for 2019. I am in Los Angeles after a great conference on digitalization of educational services.
Challenged: New perspectives and I have lots to learn about the digital world, while taking care of our current business and customers in the meantime – so it is time to be twice as effective!
What is the One thing I want to accomplish before to Midsummer:
I would love the True Effectiveness Program to be well established, with at least 200 participants in Sweden and from another 10 countries. (USA check! Germany check, Canada and Norway to respond this week….).
(The first 30 people from about 30 companies who completed the programme have had fantastic insights and results beyond their expectations.
Read what they say here:
https://www.trueeffectiveness.com/references
How will I challenge myself?
My word for the next 6 months is "fearless",
I will most likely write a text (or three) about how I think about this, so you will have to wait till another time. But we can start with this: If you are fearless you do not need to be brave. You just have to be brave when you are afraid.
I rather be fearless than brave!
I would love it you join us on my LIVE webinar on February 18th 2019, where you will find out more about being Truly Effective, that means peace of mind, clarity, stress free productivity and fearlessness!
The link is here
https://www.trueeffectiveness.com/1-registration-page
See you there!
Wilhelm